A Q&A with the Lannisters
~ the most powerful siblings in Westeros ~
How is everyone this morning?
Cersei: Can we just get on with this? Some of us have things we need to be doing.
Tyrion: Please excuse her, as you can see my sister is in a charming mood this morning.
C: Don’t go making excuses for me. You little…
Jamie: Come on you two. Is there really any need for all that?
C: Oh, just get on with it already.
T: Yes, you wouldn’t want her to run out of wine before you’ve asked your questions now would you?
What’s your best piece of advice?
C: “The more people you love, the weaker you are.”
T: “When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.”
J: “No matter what you do, you’re forsaking one vow or another.”
T: We are a cheery lot aren’t we? I blame our father…
Do you have a hidden talent?
T: Cersei can suck the life out of a room with a single breath. Does that count?
J: Now, now... play nice.
If you could belong to another house which would it be and why?
J: Targaryen. They had the right idea marrying Brother and Sister.
T: I completely disagree. I would rather have my manhood cut off and fed to a goat than have to marry Cersei.
Another House? Perhaps I’d lead towards the Starks, although I’d prefer to keep my head and they have a problem keeping hold of theirs. Then there’s…
C: Will you stop waffling?!
T: Fine. Tyrell, they have money and the potential for power.
C: Can someone pass the wine?
Why do you think The Hand of the King is such a deadly possession?
C: Maybe because they don’t know how to keep their noses out of things that don’t concern them? Or maybe it’s because my late husband had a habit of choosing Hands that thought they had the right to question me.
J: Cersei maybe you’ve had enough wine?
C: Oh please. Would you question me if I had a cock between my legs?
J: What I think Cersei meant to say was…
C: I said what I meant to say Jamie.
T: Maybe you want to move onto the next question?
Who do you think would make a good Hand to the King?
T: Well I thought I did an excellent job, considering Joff is the King to my hand. Then there was the battle at Blackwater, which would have been catastrophic if it wasn’t for the wildfire I commissioned. But people seem to forget that.
Would you want to sit on the Iron Throne?
T: God no! Men who sit on that thing have a tendencies to end up in a tomb years before their time. I think I’ll keep to my duties under the king. However insufferable he may be.
C: If I were on the Throne there would be no war. Men rule with what’s between their legs instead of on their shoulders. If Robert and Joff had listened to me then…
T: The what? The whole of the Seven Kingdoms would be gallivanting around celebrating the kings’ name day instead of fighting their neighbours and burring their sons.
T: Even you can’t think that highly of yourself?
Jamie, how about you? Would you like to sit on the Throne?
J: I can think of one or two other places I'd rather sit.