REVIEW: Things I'm Seeing Without You

THINGS I'M SEEING WITHOUT YOU

by Peter Bognanni

Pages: 336

Publisher: Chicken House

Publication Date: 1st Febuary 2018

Received From: Chicken House

Seventeen-year-old Tess talks to Jonah every day; through texts, tweets and emails.

So when she discovers Jonah has committed suicide, her world implodes. Feeling heartbroken and traumatized Tess unexpectedly finds herself at her estranged father’s house, wondering how well she really knew Jonah. Now, having dropped out of high school, struggling with questions about life and loss, Tess and her father come together to try and find the answers.

First things first, can I just say that Chicken House are smashing it out of the park with their YA's this year!! I mean seriously, I've not read a book that I've not wanted to immediately re-read and Things I'm Seeing Without You is no exception. I'll be honest I thought this book was going to be a little bit depressing when I first started reading it but as the story unfolded you notice the humour in it, the notes that make you smile and the moments that catch your breath. It delves into a situation no one wants to find themselves in and resolves itself in the most peculiar of manners, and I wouldn't change a single second of it. 

Things I'm Seeing Without You is the story of Tess, a girl who's life gets flipped on its head when the boy she's fallen in love with commits suicide. He said he loved her, but now he's gone, and Tess has to find a way to come to terms with what she's lost. Tess’s life feels like it's stopped with the boy’s, she lost as she drops out of school and moves in with her estranged father (who by the way just happens to be running a funeral business - of sorts). But life hasn't stopped and from this point on everything is going to be different, things Tess thought she knew will come unravelled as she discovers the truth about the boy she's been talking to everyday for months. 

Finding a balance between writing a good story and being respectful to the difficult issues you're writing about is not an easy task. In Things I'm Seeing Without You Bognanni tackles some hard subjects, but he manages to find a way to mix the difficult with the storytelling to produce a book that hits right in the feels. 

It is no secret that the way to a good review from me is to write a load of messed up characters and show me that they can find redemption and this book does exactly that! Okay, well... maybe not messed up as such but the characters in this book are falling apart. Unsure how to get through the day after the worst thing they could ever imagine happening happens. But as the story continues you find yourself wishing the characters forward, and somehow... in a way I did not see coming... they find their way to the end of the book. 

At first this seems like a book about death but in reality, it’s about living, celebrating life and finding a way to go on in the most unexpected of ways. Things I'm Seeing Without You is a story that will have you grabbing for the tissues at times but at it is also filled with small smiles, great storytelling and characters you can't help but care about. If you haven't had the chance to read this book yet, then I cannot recommend it enough! 

**I received this book as an ARC from Chicken House Books to read & review. This is a 100% honest review.**

Tour Post: MY HEART & OTHER BLACK HOLES

MY HEART & OTHER BLACK HOLES

by Jasmine Warga

Pages: 320 (paperback)

Publisher: Hodder Children's Books

Publication Date: 12th February 2015

ISBN: 9781444791532
Received From:  Hodder Children's Books

Summary 

Aysel and Roman are practically strangers, but they've been drawn into an unthinkable partnership. In a month's time, they plan to commit suicide - together.

Aysel knows why she wants to die: being the daughter of a murderer doesn't equal normal, well-adjusted teenager. But she can't figure out why handsome, popular Roman wants to end it all....and why he's even more determined than she is.

With the deadline getting closer, something starts to grow between Aysel and Roman - a feeling she never thought she would experience. It seems there might be something to live for, after all - but is Aysel in so deep she can't turn back? 

Review

"You aren't allowed to die without me."

I was lucky enough to be sent a copy of this book from Hodder Children's Books for review and I can’t thank them enough! My Heart & Other Black Holes is a stunningly written book that is both unique and heart-wrenching. I couldn't put this one down! It gripped hold of me from the very first chapter and didn't let me go until the very last page - and even then I didn't let go. 

My Heart & Other Black Holes tells the story of Aysel and Roman. Both teens have had a rough couple of years and its become too much for them. This isn't the typical YA book, it's the story of how these two teenagers came together and decided they wanted, no scratch that, needed to die. Both Aysel and Roman have different reasons to wanting to end their lives, but this is one very strong connection between them and that's family or more accurately, what happens to you when the unimaginable happens to the people you love. 

For me personally it was the character's the really made this book. Yes, the story was interesting but it was the richness of the these two characters that drew me in and had me holding my breath. It was this idea that depression isn't always visible. We've constructed and idea of what it means to be ‘depressed’. I mean you hear it all the time don’t you? "Oh god, she looks so depressed!" or "Why is he so depressing all the time?"  But it's not that simple, and Roman’s character shows that perfectly. On the surface Roman has everything, but there's this illness inside him that he can't escape. I think that's what I love about this book, it's that it is real and relatable. Even if you haven't suffered to these extremes you can connect with the characters and that makes them come to life. 

My Heart & Other Black Holes is one of those books that stay with you well after you've read that final sentence. I wish I was able to travel back in time and give a copy of this book to my 16 year-old self. I'd recommend this book to anyone, but if you feel like or have ever felt like you just can't cope then this is a perfect book for you. 

Overall I can't praise Jasmine enough for this book. It's everything a story like this should be and it is one of those books I'm proud I got to read. It's not sugar coated, there are no rose tinted glasses, just raw emotion and beautifully written sentences. 

**I received this book as an ARC from Hodder Children's Books to read & review. This is a 100% honest review.** 

Online Forums

by Jasmine Warga

So complete disclosure: I didn’t actually visit any online suicide forums when I was writing the novel. Those types of websites are dark and destructive and toxic and so I didn’t want to give them any traffic, but I knew of their existence from articles in the paper I had read. (I also felt very strongly about making the online suicide forum in the book fictional for the reasons above.) All that said, I think those darks corners of the Internet are so complicated because I very much understand the need to find and connect with other people who are feeling the same way that you are. Obviously I am not advocating for finding a suicide partner online, but rather explaining that I understand the popularity of certain problem-driven tags on websites such as Tumblr for example. I know what it’s like to feel like no one in your life understands what you’re feeling or going through, and to desperately want to find another human being to which you can relate.
In lots of ways, I think I wrote the book to explore those murky and complicated facets of the Internet. The Internet gives us the ability to connect with people we never would’ve before had the opportunity to meet. This is an amazing thing. It can put us in contact with people who may understand how we are feeling. But it can also put us in contact with people who may be a negative influence or with whom we may develop a toxic and destructive relationship.It is such a complicated question of whether two people who are suffering from the same affliction—be it anorexia, suicidal ideation, self-harm—can help each other by forming a relationship in which they share their feelings or whether that relationship is doomed to be toxic. Maybe with the correct supervision (such as group therapy) these relationships can be beneficial because sometimes there is nothing more precious than knowing someone understands exactly what you are going through; or maybe these relationships will only ever deepen and heighten the problems that pre-existed the relationship. I don’t have the concrete answer to that, and I also don’t think my book has the answer to that. Rather it’s a question I was interested in raising and I’m hoping my book will open up discussions about this issue.
I do believe human connection and communication are integral and very important. Communication can often be lifesaving. And the modern world we live in is full of so many wonderful advancements that make it easier than ever to communicate and connect, but those advancements have also brought on lots of new questions. And so to that effect, I’m interested in writing books that ask those questions, not necessarily books that give answers.

Q&A with Jasmine Warga

author of My Heart & Other Black Holes

What was the inspiration behind My Heart & Other Black Holes? I started to write the book after the death of one of my closest friends and my grief served as chief inspiration. But while the novel stemmed from grief, to me, it’s really a book about love (in all its forms, especially self-love) and the importance of human connection.
 Did you have to do a lot of research for the book being as it’s such a serious subject? I actually didn’t. I mostly wrote from my own heart, gut, and experiences. The book isn’t meant to be a full study of depression, but rather a singular story about two individual people who are struggling with mental illness. All that said, my editor did have the finished manuscript reviewed by a psychiatrist and I was so happy when he said he found the book to be authentic, thoughtful, and responsible.
 What’s the one song that can always shake your bad mood?
 Is it cliché of me to say Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off”? But that’s been my go to song for that recently :)
 Who was your favorite character to write and why?
 Probably Aysel for the sheer reason that I know her better than any of the other characters since I spent several months inside her head. She was my narrative companion and so I feel the closest to her. If you could pick anyone, whom would you cast in a film adaptation? Yikes! This is so hard because I’m not that familiar with many actresses and actors. I’m not sure…I really would just want two people who would try to bring the story to life with authenticity and passion. I know this is a cop-out, but if I was ever so lucky to see the book made into a movie, I’d trust the casting director!
 What three books would you recommend to readers of My Heart & Other Black Holes?
 I’ll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson (mostly because it’s one of my most favorite books ever and got me through a really difficult period in my life), Weetzie Bat (because it’s my favorite YA book from when I was younger), and The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood because I recommend it to everyone and I want every person in the world to read it because it’s beyond amazing. What was it about this particular subject that made you want to write a book? In other words, why teen suicides? I don’t think that there was ever a moment where I sat down and decided to write a teenage suicide novel. Rather, Aysel’s voice came to me, and I became fascinated with her character, and it’s her voice and character that led me to this story. But now that it’s finished, I feel really passionate about speaking out about suicidal ideation and depression in hopes of reducing the stigma surrounding mental illness.
 What’s the most challenging part of the writing process for you? Two things—the first being seeing a project through to the end. I’m notorious for giving up on things at the midway point. It’s hard for me to stay interested enough in a story to finish it. And second, endings. I find endings to be really hard as both a writer and a reader.
 In one sentence tell us why we should read My Heart & Other Black Holes? Ah! Another tough question! I guess I would love for readers who enjoy darker, quirkier stories with a dash of romance to give it a shot.
 Lastly describe your book in five words… Go! 
Quirky. Heartrending. Kinetic. Love. Understanding.

Review: A Darkness Strange and Lovely

A Darkness Strange and Lovely

by Susan Dennard

Pages: 432 

Publisher: HarperTeen

Publication Date: 24th June 2014 (first published July 23rd 2013)

ISBN: 0062083309

Summary 

Following an all-out battle with the walking Dead, the Spirit Hunters have fled Philadelphia, leaving Eleanor alone to cope with the devastating aftermath...
With her brother dead and her mother insane, Eleanor Fitt is alone. Even the Spirit-Hunters—Joseph, Jie, and the handsome Daniel—have fled to Paris. So when Eleanor hears the vicious barking of hounds and see haunting yellow eyes, she fears that the Dead, and the necromancer Marcus, are after her.
To escape, Eleanor boards a steamer bound for France. There she meets Oliver, a young man who claims to have known her brother. But Oliver harbors a dangerous secret involving necromancy and black magic that entices Eleanor beyond words. If she can resist him, she’ll be fine. But when she arrives in Paris, she finds that the Dead have taken over, and there’s a whole new evil lurking. And she is forced to make a deadly decision that will go against everything the Spirit-Hunters stand for.
In Paris, there’s a price for this darkness strange and lovely, and it may have Eleanor paying with her life.

Check out my review for book 1, Something Strange and Deadly by CLICKING HERE.

Review

Serious spoiler's ahead if you haven't read the first book in the series, Something Strange and Deadly! 

I'm a little dubious when it comes to sequels, as more often than not they don't live up to the first book. However when reading A Darkness Strange and Lovely I found myself thinking "and here I was thinking the last book as good!" Dennard seriously kicked it up a gear with this instalment of the Something Strange and Deadly series and I could not but it down! 

This book starts 3 months after the last one concludes. It starts in Philadelphia with Eleanor (El), handless, penniless and in all honesty, friendless. Her mother is in a mental hospital and the only friends she does have are half way across the world in Paris. Oh and to make things all the more complicated Marcus is still out there and he's not even close to finished with her. The plot follows El as she makes her was across the Atlantic to Paris, although aboard the ship she finds herself confronted with something she never expected. Oliver. AKA her brother's Demon best friend. El has to come to terms with her new powers and again there is a strong emphasis on right and wrong and being able to figure out who you are when your world seems to be spiralling. 

El's character in this was quite a bit different from the first book. She's stronger and more self-reliant that she ever has been before. She's got this power within her she doesn't know how to use and she's a little unwilling to adapt at times. Stubborn doesn't even begin to cover it! 

I am happy to announce that this story was less predictable! And being as that was the only major flaw in Something Strange and Deadly I'd say we're off to a good start. I'll admit that when reading I thought I knew where the story was going, however I was surprised as the plot unfolded. I think that the biggest difference between the writing styles on book 1 and this instalment is that Dennard was able to drop clues without giving the game away. Also, I don't know what happened between writing these two books but she also picked up the magical skill of misdirection - which again, only added to the suspense within the story. 

The only downside I had with this book was there wasn't enough Daniel! It wasn't until about half way through that he finally turns up. I love him as a character and I think that his connection with El and the people they are when they're around each other is really special. I hope that we get to see a lot more of these two as a duo in the final book in the series - Strange and Ever After. 

Overall though A Darkness Strange and Lovely is a well-written and exciting sequel that doesn't in any way, shape or form let the reader down. It's still packed full of zombies and magic but with the Parisian setting it makes the story all the more endearing. There were some serious questions left unanswered at the end of this book and I'm about to delve into the final book in the series. 

Wish me luck!